Thursday, 15 December 2011

Westmount Psychologist: Relationships



- Why is mirroring important for successful relationships? 
It communicates that you see and care about me and that I can depend on you. Acting as a mirror is most important in periods of need or distress.  I can feel like whatever is bothersome or troublesome to me actually matters to someone else, which, in turn, means that I matter. If someone has been accurately mirrored numerous times, it will help in times when the actual person is not physically available. It’s like you can borrow from validating and affirming times in the past. 


- The body and brain knows when mirroring works well. The hormone oxytocin has been linked with increased trust and reduced anxiety when others are in the presence of a safe, close, mirroring relationship partner. Also, there are mirror neurons in the forebrain that fire while empathizing with others. In some ways, the body was made to mirror. 


- This is about relationships that count. It is important to keep in mind that different relationships serve different needs. Different needs that should be mirrored, or, at least, heard and accepted. At this crucial time, it is important to seek out relationships where you feel heard and accepted and validated (all crucial elements to the relationship mirror).
By Dr. Rick Parker at Clinic Dr. Bita
Happy Holidays.



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